The Slime Dungeon The Slime Dungeon Chronicles Book 1 edition by Jeffrey "Falcon" Logue Silvia Lew Literature Fiction eBooks
Download As PDF : The Slime Dungeon The Slime Dungeon Chronicles Book 1 edition by Jeffrey "Falcon" Logue Silvia Lew Literature Fiction eBooks 
Death came on swift wings. A soul, blessed by a goddess, falls to the land and enters his new life. He clings to a single memory, the defining moment of his previous life. Now, he learns how to succeed in his new life, as a new dungeon heart. To become the best dungeon he can be, he partners with the one existence all dungeons need his bonded Dungeon Pixie.
(Edits made)
The Slime Dungeon The Slime Dungeon Chronicles Book 1 edition by Jeffrey "Falcon" Logue Silvia Lew Literature Fiction eBooks
Overall, the story is good. The storytelling aspects are there. It's got a fun concept, takes itself just seriously enough to be interesting, but lighthearted enough to be entertaining. The plot is good, and there's a good mix of action.That said, this has some serious flaws in the technical aspects of the writing. It's very obvious this story was written in a chapter-by-chapter format where each chapter had it's own ideas where it was going. There are ideas central to characters that don't get brought up until right before they're dealt with, creating information dumps instead of the organic growth of character. It creates a lot of the dues ex machina moments that characterize starting writers.
This series seems good, but once it's finished, looks like it needs to be gone over as a whole and rewritten to properly pace plot and character development as well as spacing out information the reader needs with when that information is plot important, instead of telling you someone can do a thing when they're about to do it. And some heavy proofreading and editing to correct a lot of the grammatical mistakes and continuity errors. I really look at this a very good rough draft of a much better story.
I'd suggest readers go into it looking at it as such, and hope the writer takes the time once the work is completed to go back over it as a whole and redraft it into a cohesive, well-paced whole where every plot point and character development is known going in. This story has a lot of potential, but is being dragged down by problems of the writing style being too improvisational to allow for proper foreshadowing and pacing.
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The Slime Dungeon The Slime Dungeon Chronicles Book 1 edition by Jeffrey "Falcon" Logue Silvia Lew Literature Fiction eBooks Reviews
The premise is fun "How do the 'dungeons' seen in fantasy games make any ecological sense?" This book presents an entertaining answer dungeons are intelligent crystals existing in an uneasy truce with humans, by creating endless supplies of treasure and monsters that lurk in underground mazes for adventurers to find. We get the perspective of a dungeon that (for unexplained reasons) has the soul of a kindly doctor, who tries not to kill more people more than the relationship requires. The best parts of the story are about the world-building of seeing how dungeons develop, how they work with a dedicated race of tutorial-spouting pixies, and how humans react to having a dangerous but valuable den of monsters on their land. Slimes wouldn't be my first choice, but the fact that I daydreamed about better options is a good sign about enjoying the concept.
I have to discuss some flaws in this book, though. There are lots of annoying, distracting typos, sometimes several per page. The author consistently makes weird punctuation choices such as writing dialog like this [ Bob walked closer, "Hello!" ] and often misuses basic words like "if" and "your". If the book is re-issued with a good copy-editing after this review, then add half a star.
Another, more subjective flaw is that the story seems like a mixture of traditional fantasy (set in a fictional world) and the emerging "LitRPG" subgenre where we're explicitly seeing the world of a game that runs on game rules. In this dungeon setting, adventurers have letter ranks like "Rank C" (why does everybody add that "S" rank these days?) and dungeons call up hovering windows that list new powers they can buy, as though the world is a video game. But at the same time there's no indication that the adventurers are playing a game. Friendly dungeon Doc is eating their corpses and genuinely evil forces are doing worse things to them. I like seeing how the game-like concepts fit into a more traditional fantasy world. But the ranks and windows (and characters shouting the names of their attacks) make me suspect that it *was* all a game but this aspect of the setting was scrubbed half-heartedly. I'd have told the writer to either nix the graphical user interface and so on, or embrace it more fully.
Finally, there are some bits of plotting that seemed clumsy to me. Bad guys with glowing red eyes so you know they're evil, for instance. In the end we don't get a scene from the dungeon's perspective to wrap things up. Instead we get the humans' POV discussing their half-right understanding of the plot, then the real villains' conversation where they say to each other, "As we both know, we are from X and our evil plan was Y! We'll be back for the sequel!" I also noticed some places where I'd advise "show, don't tell", as when we're told outright what kind of relationship two people have or what someone's skills are. As an example, we're shown an earth-themed mage named Rock and told repeatedly that it's a dumb name, even though it's appropriate. We're also told he's Rank-D and has such-and-such spells. That's bad. However, we're also *shown* that he likes to sit in the guild hall fiddling with rock spells, because it's good practice and good advertising. That kind of imaginative description is what I want to see more of.
Overall, I enjoyed the book; you can call it "Better than Harlan Ellison" based on the pretentious, corrosive stuff I just read from that Famous Author. This book is flawed but enjoyable. I'd tell the author to work on editing and description, because I expect their next effort could be pretty good.
Not exactly a riveting page turner but not bad and I liked seeing the attempt at world building.
I would advise the author to do a little more comprehensive proofreading and editing. There was usually at least one noticeable grammar error per chapter. I know it can be the most tedious part but editing is critical.
The plot of the story is that an entity, hinted to be human, dies and is reborn as a "Dungeon Heart" with only the vaguest recollection that he was alive once before. Under the guidance of a Dungeon Pixie he works to build a dungeon (think RPG style, corridors and rooms housing various traps and monsters). If done well the dungeon will have a symbiotic, though dangerous, relationship with local adventurers; the dungeon offers enticing loot drops while the adventurers present a chance to increase in power and size. And his choice to make a dungeon with mostly slime monsters is seen as unique, explained in story that slimes are early on some of the weakest and easiest to kill monsters.
Overall the plot is not bad. But I thought the characters could have used some work. A lot of the times when a character was introduced there would immediately be a paragraph bio about who they are, and most of them feel kind of one dimensional instead of being fully fleshed out characters whose wellbeing I was invested in. And the dialogue was...not stiff but designed to eke out as much information out of each statement as possible, even when I would think in real life you would expect shorter or more terse statements.
More importantly there is a bit of contradiction in the character of the protagonist and that his stance on killing. Sometimes he acts ambivalent to whether an adventurer dies in his dungeon or not, not actively killing them but relishing the increase in power. Other times he expresses abhorrence and forced with the choice of having to kill.
I would have also appreciated a more detailed explanation of magic in this world and how it works. While leaving vagueness helps you to play around later, establishing precise rules helps to make the magic system more real.
That is all I have to say.
Overall, the story is good. The storytelling aspects are there. It's got a fun concept, takes itself just seriously enough to be interesting, but lighthearted enough to be entertaining. The plot is good, and there's a good mix of action.
That said, this has some serious flaws in the technical aspects of the writing. It's very obvious this story was written in a chapter-by-chapter format where each chapter had it's own ideas where it was going. There are ideas central to characters that don't get brought up until right before they're dealt with, creating information dumps instead of the organic growth of character. It creates a lot of the dues ex machina moments that characterize starting writers.
This series seems good, but once it's finished, looks like it needs to be gone over as a whole and rewritten to properly pace plot and character development as well as spacing out information the reader needs with when that information is plot important, instead of telling you someone can do a thing when they're about to do it. And some heavy proofreading and editing to correct a lot of the grammatical mistakes and continuity errors. I really look at this a very good rough draft of a much better story.
I'd suggest readers go into it looking at it as such, and hope the writer takes the time once the work is completed to go back over it as a whole and redraft it into a cohesive, well-paced whole where every plot point and character development is known going in. This story has a lot of potential, but is being dragged down by problems of the writing style being too improvisational to allow for proper foreshadowing and pacing.
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